


Fenders Alphabet Study

by scarletcougar



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletcougar/pseuds/scarletcougar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders is helping Fenris learn his reading and writing. To challenge each other, they play a letter game... usually where no one can see them. But they are bored hanging around the Hanged Man. So Anders pulls out paper and starts their letter game. They do this in writing because they do not want to be overheard by people like Isabela or Varric should they pass by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's Play

**Author's Note:**

> If it is in Bold, it is Fenris' words.  
> If it is in italics, it is Anders' words.  
> Sometimes Fenris crosses out what Anders writes.  
> ENJOY!!

_A is for Apostate (and Anders)._  
 **B is for Blade.**   
_C is for Circle, may they all be broken._   
**D is for Danarius.** _We'll kill him soon, I promise Justice will be done.  
Oh right, E... uhn... E... E..._ **Elf, you stupid apostate.** _E is my letter and I wanted something better than a viscious killer elf. E... E is for ... fine, you can have E, but F is mine._ ** _E is for Elf._**   
_F is for Freedom and for Fenris._   
**G is for Genlock.  
** _H is for Healing.  
_ **I is for Isabela.... Vanhedis! Cover this up. I don't need her seeing us playing this.  
** _J is for Justice._   
**K is for Kill.** _Can't you think of something pleasant like Kitten?_ **I am surprised you didn't use Cat for C.** _OH! Can I go back and change it?_ **No.** _Fine. *SIGH*  
L is for Lyrium, not safe to drink unless you are a mage, ~~damned sexy as a tattoo on a certain...~~   
_**_M is for Mage._**   
_N is for Nevarra.  
_ **O is for Oliphant.** _What's an Oliphant?_ **You are an educated mage who has read every book he can get his hands on and you don't know what an Oliphant is?** _Are they in Tevinter?_ **Yes.** _Well then... DUH! Of course I won't know. I have never been there and never read stuff from there.  
P is for Phylactery, I broke mine so I could not be tracked._   
**Q is for the Qun and the Qunari.** _Oh, that was good.  
R is for Rescue because you rescued me. ~~And Red, the color your ears are turning.~~_   
**S is for Sanity, which I am going to lose before this is through.**   
_T is for Tevinter and Trust._   
**U is for ... Understanding.  
** _V is for Victory._   
**W for Warden.  
** _X for Xenophobia, give it up people._ **Thank you.  
Y is for Yours. **_Really?_ **Just finish this.**  
Z is for Zevran, who is as bad as Isabela. 

_Can I please go back and change_ _some letters_?

**No. Which ones and Why?**

_F for Friendship. Something I value now more than any mage rights. G for Guardian. I AM yours too and you are my Guardian. And L... but I don't want you to hit me for it._

**L... I think I know what you want to change it for. I won't hit you this time. But never say it in public again.**

_You are suddenly in my head are you? Do you really know what I want to change L for?_

**L is for Love.**

_Yes... it is. Thank you Fenris._


	2. A is for Apostate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A: by Anders  
> A is for Apostate (and Anders).

_A is for Apostate._

_That dirty word people use to refer to mages unbound by the walls and Templars of a Circle of Magi. It is supposed to mean one who forsakes their religion.  Most of us aren’t forsaking the Maker or Andraste, or even the Chant and the Chantry. We just want to live as free as everyone else._

_Apostate seems to be synonymous now with the word malificar or blood mage._

_GET A DICTIONARY!_

_~~signed Anders_

_:)_

_Which also starts with A!  
_


	3. B is for Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B: by Fenris

**B is for Blade.**

**The one thing you can trust. Keep it clean. Keep it sharp. Know it and train with it and it will serve its purpose like any other fine weapon. Blades, extensions of the arm, of the hand, of the self. I am the Blade. Sharp. Deadly. Cold. Hard. Honed and forged like no other. Unique. As any Blade should be.**

**~~ Fenris**


	4. C is for Circle & Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> C: by Anders  
> C is for Circle, may they all be broken.  
> C is for Cat (just for Fenris).

_C is for Circle._

_There are no edges, no corners, nowhere to hide in a Circle. You are stuck inside endlessly following a wall with one hand that has no beginning and no end. Trapped. Every Circle is like that. In the Circle, you are doomed to perish without ever knowing the outside. HA! Bet you thought I was going to say something romantic about circles being symbols of everlasting love. But in a Circle, you are not allowed love. I hate the Circle. They are all the same._

_Now it is time to break the damned Circle._

 

_~~Anders_

* * *

_C is for Cat (just for Fenris)._

_Cat. That aloof mysterious creature. All soft fur and sharp claws. Cat. Wanderer between the worlds. It was a cat that saved me when I was in Isolation in the Circle. It is always a cat that reminds me that no matter how hard things get, if I walk softly, I might find one. They remind me to hold onto the soft and bueatiful things. And if I close my eyes, I can still hear the purr lulling me into safe slumber knowing the sharp claws will protect me from all dangers._

_As much as Fenris is named for the Dread Wolf, He is also named for a cat Tigris. His skin is soft (even if you never touch it, you can see it is soft). And if I close my eyes, his voice sounds like a deep rumbling purr. I could listen to him talk forever, also lulling me into safe slumber. And his claws. Just like the cat, he has sharp claws that I know will protect me from any danger… even myself if I should become one._

_I will always trust a cat. And so I will always trust Fenris._

_*wink*_

 

_~Anders_


	5. D is for Danarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D: by Fenris
> 
> (We'll kill him soon, I promise Justice will be done. ) ~says Anders

**D is for Danarius.**

**Under my skin, his magic rips from me all free will. He waves a hand and I obey. He commands and I obey. His torture burned into my very flesh for all to see what a pretty deadly thing I am. He made me. He stole all memory. His rape of me is all consuming, body, mind, and soul. I am the warning he used to control other mages. I am the entertainment to show how well he can control something do dangerous. I am dangerous. Yet I walk like a marionette on magical strings. Stand here. Walk there. Pour wine here. Strip so they can see. Be touched so they can prove the reality of the brands. Fuck for his and their pleasure. I would kill to be free of him. I would die to be free of him. Danarius, the Tevinter magister who is but steps away from being the next Archon in Minrathous. All are slave to him. All but me. Never again.**

**~~ Fenris**


	6. E is for Elf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supposed to be by Anders, but ended up by Fenris.
> 
> Anders: Oh right, E... uhn... E... E...  
> Fenris: Elf, you stupid apostate.  
> Anders: E is my letter and I wanted something better than a viscious killer elf. E... E is for ... fine, you can have E, but F is mine.  
> Fenris: E is for Elf.

**E is for Elf.**

**Elves. Sometimes called in the ancient languages Elvhen. There are city elves and wild elves. Wild elves call themselves the Dalish. I think they are incredibly narrow-minded and ignorant. Every tribe of Dalish you come across declare that they are “the very last ones and are trying to preserve their heritage” even though there are dozens of tribes everywhere oblivious of each other. Then shun the humans and call them Shemlen or Shems for short, meaning “not of the people” like they are not people and the Dalish elves are the only real people. I don’t understand their fascination or need to run around in the filth barefoot. Sand is scratchy. Grass is prickly. There is mud, and piss and shit from wildlife… sticks and stones and body bits. It is unclean and disgusting!**

**City Elves fall into two categories.**

**In Fereldan and the Free Marches, you have the elves of the Alienages. Ostracized from humans, these elves shut themselves away further through self-isolation into cramped hovels in the worst parts of town huddled around a painted tree as they pretend to be anything like the wild Dalish.**

**The other City Elves are those in Teveinter. They get called slaves.**

**~~ Fenris**


	7. F is for Freedom, Fenris & Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> F: by Anders

_F is for Freedom and Fenris… and Friendship._

_F is for Freedom. The flight of a bird in the open sky. The dash and splash of bare feet in a streambed without worry. Rolling naked in a field of clover and lavender at dawn. Freedom… is having choice. Things I did not have in a circle tower. Things I craved so badly I ran away many times, only to be caught and tortured and finally to spend a year locked away in the dark of solitary confinement._

_Freedom is a rush of wind as you stand on the bow of Isabela’s ship. Your white hair blown about without care. Freedom is an unhindered grace when you dance with your sword. Freedom is knowing you can make choices for yourself. It is not the magic-induced slaver, the enthrallment of someone singing their will to smother your own and turn you into a puppet, killing at their whim._

_Freedom is being you and being me and knowing that it is okay to just be._

_F is also for Friendship. Something so hard to find for the amount of trust needed. Friendship is the honor and loyalty and love people share mutually to watch each other’s backs in battle and to pick each other up when we fall. Friendship is something I never thought I would find in you. But I have._

_And F is for Fenris. An elven slave from Tevinter, once gladiator. Fought for a chance to free his family and thus be subjected to the experimentations of a magister, who wiped his memories and branded him with pure lyrium, making him a living weapon. Fenris, one of the few warriors that I both highly admire and am highly amused by. You scare the Void out of me every time you reach through armor and rip out someone’s heart like snatching an apple from a barrel of water. You brood like someone with burrs permanently in his small clothes. You carry a blade bigger than you! And wield it like it is as light as a toy._

_Fenris. Danger and beauty all wrapped into a tight, muscular elf._

_Fenris… my friend… together for freedom’s sake._

_~~Anders_


	8. G is for Genlock & Guardian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> G is for Genlock: by Fenris  
> G is also for Guardian: by Anders
> 
> (Because Fenris is my Guardian) says Anders

**G is for Genlock**

**Filthy, disgusting and prolific form of darkspawn. They ooze, they smell. How they have the intelligence enough to put on armor is beyond understanding. Short and stocky and strong, they keep coming at you almost mindlessly, and yet, not. It makes you wonder if they were once something else that then became infected by the taint. Either way, they must die. And they die fairly easily and long before I come into their range, they are too stupid to get out of the way of my blade. If only their blood was not like a mix of blood, tar and mucous. I will have to bathe a dozen times to get that out from between my toes. Why do I let Hawke take me down there?**

**~~ Fenris**

* * *

_G is for Guardian_

_Guardian in its most basic sense is a protector of someone or something. Bound by honor, loyalty and love. They can be relied upon to defend to their dying breath, and perhaps even beyond that. Shame that the Templars are not this. Mages could benefit from that kind of knight, allowing them safety to serve mankind._

_Lore speaks of the Guardians, Disciples of Andraste. They have stood guard over her remains for centuries and will continue to do so till the fall of the Tevinter Imperium’s corruption. It is said that the Hero of Fereldan faced one when in search of the Urn of Sacred Ashes, the Ashes of Andraste that supposedly healed Arl Eamon of Redcliffe. There is no proof, though, and the Hero refuses to give up the whereabouts of this Urn and this Guardian. I understand that it is to protect them. Theories have abound regarding how this Guardian has survived all these centuries, with the most prominent being the plethora of lyrium in the secret surroundings. Another is that he is dead but due to his honor, loyalty and love, has been bound to continue his duty eternally._

_I think Fenris would make an amazing guardian. He is one of the most skilled warriors I have ever met. He will stand his ground to protect you no matter what, if that is what he has committed himself to do. You can trust him to. I trust him to. Even if he does not recognize it himself, he is incredibly honorable and loyal. Now, if only I could get him to admit love… for anyone or anything… maybe even for me._

_~ This educational session is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood possessed apostate, me, Anders._


	9. H is for Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> H: by Anders
> 
> *with some comments by both Fenris & Anders.*

_H is for Healing_

_H is for healing, of which there are several kinds. There is folk healing with herbalists of sometimes questionable skill, sometimes surprisingly excellent skill. There is medic healing by trained physicians and apothecaries who have no magical talent. There is surgical healing. This is ultimately the grossest of types. The healers who have no magic but can cut into you, get bloody and stitch the remnants back together, often with remarkable success. Just watch one amputate a man and the man live afterwards! I learned from them all on a variety of occasions, sometimes while on the run, and sometimes while training with the Wardens. The key to any good healing is cleaning out the wound and making sure there is no infection. Or, setting the bones… BEFORE you do any healing._

_But I digress. I want to express the wonder and beauty of healing magically. Someone… once spat about how magic spoils everything. I think that someone has forgotten how many times I have healed him back into something still breath-takingly beautiful._

_Among mage healers, there are also several kinds. You have those who use creative magic. They work mostly with potions and fertility and midwifery. There are life magic healers, who are excellent with connecting with the body and convincing it to heal itself. Then there are Spirit Healers. They work with the spirit and mind of the person or work with other spirits to help with the healing process. There are very few of us._

_But I guess that doesn’t really explain Healing. Let me try again. Healing with magic, especially Spirit Healing is not forcing the body to mend in any way. It is like… channelling the energy of the world and the spirit for the best state of health of the one you are trying to heal. Working to bring their body back into its most natural state. You have to abandon yourself, your ego. It has no place in this kind of healing. You have to abandon everything you think about the person you are healing. It no longer matters if they dislike you or you dislike them. The bottom line is that they are a life with every right to live. You have to love that purest essence. And through the compassion of that, pour all you can into achieving what that body before you needs. You as a healer no longer matter for the duration of the healing. Your patient matters. And they need you._

_~ Humbly, Anders_

**FENRIS: You never told me this before. Is that really how you heal? No wonder you are so drained and exhausted after. How is it that you have the energy to just... love… like that in order to heal people?**

 

_Anders: Because Fenris, this is how I always hope I will one day be treated, with as much love without regard to what I am or what has happened to me._


	10. I is for Isabela

**I is for Isabela  
**

**Probably the freest person that I know. She seems almost fearless in every choice that she makes. Attached to nothing but the sea. She flows like wind with blades, a dance of blood and beauty. Every step quickens the heart, stirs… She is not shy and knows how to use all her assets. No man is immune… unless you are Anders of course. Why does she call him Sparkle Fingers? Isabela, hard and soft curves. Never mistake her for a whore. Whore’s are bound to their vice of sex. Isabela is bound to and by… nothing.**

**~~ Fenris**

_ANDERS: Sparkle Fingers… hehehe… I have this small talent learned from a forbidden text on sex magic, how to use lightening magic to… well… maybe if you ask me later in private, I will show you._


	11. J is for Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J: by Anders

_J is for Justice_

_Something that at times seems absent from the world. Justice is cold. Justice lacks compassion. There is no room for compromise in Justice. There is black and white, wrong and right. Justice does not understand all the shades of grey in People._

_When tristed and corrupted by a lifetime of injustice, abuse, violations. When twisted and corrupted by my deepest fears, my blind terror. When twisted and corrupted by my anger and my fury at those who continue to commit these horrible things… Justice becomes a dangerous thing._

_Justice becomes Vengeance._


	12. K is for Kill, Kitten & Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> K: by Fenris  
> K is for Kill.
> 
> K is also for Kitten and for Kiss ~love Anders :)

_**K is for Kill.** _

_**To kill is sometimes a necessity. There is a dance to death. Blades. Blood. The slowing or the sudden stop of the beating of a heart. To kill is to snuff out a life. Some people justly deserve to die. I was made to kill. Trained in the art. My every edge sharp and deadly. There is no room for hesitation. Kill…. Or be killed.** _

_**~ Fenris** _

__

* * *

__

_K is also for Kitten._

_Small fuzzy balls of tumbling fluff with sharp needle claws and the most adorable mewl. The tiny prrrrrrrr makes my heart sing and reminds me of the gentler things in life that Justice has almost blocked out of me in his dispassion. Tiny noses nuzzling. Little twitching ears. There are fewer things in the world better than kittens._

_~ Anders_

_OH! And K is also for Kiss. As much as Fenris is all about Kill KILL kill… he is not always hard sharp edges. Under the armor, he is soft as the pads on a kitten’s paw. In his sleep he nuzzles in under my chin._

**MAGE! There is NO NUZZLING!**

_And I love to kiss his ears and his finger tips and all along those beautiful lyium lines._


	13. L is for Lyrium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is for Lyrium... by Anders

_L is for Lyrium, not safe to drink unless you are a mage, ~~damned sexy as a tattoo on a certain...~~_

_Oh alright you sourpuss._

_L is for Lyrium. A substance from the Fade that manifests in this world and can be mined and refined into a number of things. Dwarves are among the few who can handle it in its raw form and refine it for use by others. It is made into enchantments and potions for mages to drink so they can replenish their mana. Templars are given traces of it like a drug and develop the ability to resist magic and block magic and cleanse magic from stuff. It becomes an addiction that eventually drives them mad. Mage’s can be poisoned by it if they ingest too much, but can tap into when in the Fade with no ill effects._

_It is the most beautiful color, blue-white like the full moon over water. It hums with a frequency or a song. It should never be branded into anyone, most would never survive the process. But since it is and has to be lived with, I have to remind this someone that he would not be who he is without it. It makes him beautiful, exotic, and alluring. It makes him fast, strong, and gifted. It grants him grace even with the heaviest of weapons. He is feared for what he can do with that lyrium in him. But it is what grants him the power to protect those he cares about. It grants him the ability to soothe the spirit in me so I am not consumed. The lyrium looks like the sacred inking of the elves, but something as ancient as Arlathan itself._

_~A  
_


	14. M is for Mage

_**M… M is for Mage.** _

_**Mage, Magister, Magic User. I mostly hate them all. They made me what I am, enslaved me, tortured me, branded me full of lyrium, wiped every memory I had in the process. Their cruelty knows no limit. Their hunger for power drives them to working with demons… and then becoming abominations when they cannot control those demons. They should all be locked up or die.** _

_Hey! Fenris…._

_**You do not count.** _

_That also hurts._

_**Very well. Not all mages are corrupt, vile, abominations waiting to happen. Some have ….** _

_**Some mages are gifted. Some can create things, protect, fight with honor. Some can save lives instead of ruining them. Some can heal. Some can wash away a lifetime of agony and while trying to forget how he should live in his selflessness, manages to remind those of us who already forgot, teaching us how to live and inspires us to do so.** _

_**~ Fenris** _


	15. N is for Nevarra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By Anders

_N is for Nevarra._

_This is a country of hard, wiry people. They are fast and deadly. The greatest and best-known family are the Pentaghasts. They hate magic almost as much as people from the Anderfels. The Pentaghasts, especially. Oh! And they are the top dragon hunters in the world. They are ruled by Dynasty families. There… a little history lesson! I got lots of those._

_~ A_

_**That… was actually very interesting. I want to know more.** _

_Ask Varric…. Or… uh… maybe we can cuddle in bed together and read about it?_

_**Must you write that where everyone can read it?!?!** _


	16. O is for Oliphant

**O is for Oliphant.** _What's an Oliphant?_ **You are an educated mage who has read every book he can get his hands on and you don't know what an Oliphant is?** _Are they in Tevinter?_ **Yes.** _Well then... DUH! Of course I won't know. I have never been there and never read stuff from there._

_**Oliphant. It is the largest animal in Tevinter, excluding dragons and other wild things. It is the largest domesticated animal in Tevinter. It stands on four legs thick as trees with wide flat padded feet. Its body is huge like a barrel the size of a small ship. The head is large and round, but the eyes are small. It has ears big as sails the flap slowly on either side of its head. The nose is long, like like a very thick rope and the end of it is like a hand with the fingers stuck together on top and a thumb on the bottom. The nose acts like a hand or a prehensile tail. The body is thick grey skin that is very tough. Some magisters use them for riding and hand what looks like a large palanquin on the backs of them. Oliphants are very smart and learn and remember things well. They are also extremely gentle creatures. Though, if they are truly angry with you, they will simply step on you with the weight that can crush a horse without effort.** _

_You said a lot! I think this is the most you have said about any one thing._

_**You are often trying to teach me things, whether necessary or not. This was my turn to do so since you were so ignorant of such an incredible animal.** _

_I think you really like them. Did you get to see them up close?_

_**Yes. But was forbidden to touch them or ride in the palanquins on their backs.** _


End file.
